life chasers

last week.

2012-02-10T05:58:00.000-08:00

We have had a

CRAZY week.

I am truly grateful that I had scheduled my posts before hand.

On Saturday morning Ryan's dad called and said that his jobs for the week had been rescheduled for the week he was supposed to help us move and since the weather looked great,

was wondering if he and Shane could move our belongings on Monday.

Well you know us, we don't like to do anything easy,

so we said sure!

We spend the next 24 hours packing our entire house.
(and taking a quick pizza break on the back porch)

Sunday morning we picked up a gigantic Budget truck and spent all day loading it up.

(I even left for a few hours to do an engagment shoot that I had scheduled)

By that evening almost everything we owned was in that truck and we temporarily moved into my in-laws house for the week.

On Monday we had a huge scare with Selah.
She had a bad reaction to her shots that day and we had to call 911.
Ryan has worked at the fire department for several years and has the training he needs but it is amazing what goes out the window when it's your own child.
Luckily, they didn't have to transport her and
she was good by the next morning.
That was to date,
the worst thing that I have experienced in my life.
We are so grateful for this little life.

We have spent the rest of the week cleaning, repainting the whole house, and moving Shane and Kortney in.
Talk about wild.
It feels so strange being a guest in your old home!

The girls are doing pretty well, considering.
They have been pawned off, schedules messed up,
taking naps in the oddest places.
I'm very ready to get settled and have the time to just hold our babies.

Ryan is in a wedding this weekend and my bestie is throwing a party for me on Monday.
I have a love/hate relationships with going-away parties.
Love being with those close to me, hate that it hurts.

The weather is starting to get bad on Monday so we are leaving that evening to try and beat the storm.
Heck, they traveled through blizzards on the Oregon Trail,
we sure can in a car!

I can't believe this is happening.

love story: part two

2012-02-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

I know you have all been dying to read the rest of our story!

You can read part one here.

So 4 years ago TODAY Ryan flew out to North Dakota to ask me if he could begin a relationship with me.

After several weeks on the phone with my parents convincing them that he was worthy of all of my glory, he bought the next plane ticket out of there.
Keep in mind, he didn't know if my feelings were as deep as his.
I had no idea that he was coming, in fact, when I asked him that day what he was up to he said that he was headed to Idaho for a fire department conference.(what a liar)

I wanted to hope he was making up some great plan to come and sweep me off my feet, but I just couldn't let my mind go there.
You see, by this time, I was hooked.
Anyway,

My parents asked me to go to dinner with them.
Apparently, they had to run some "errands" in town and wanted to meet me at their favorite steakhouse at 8p.m.
This should have sounded some type of alarm in my mind because if you knew my dad, by 8p.m. his electric blanket would be red hot, calling his name to bed.
But crazier things have happened and I thought,
"hey, free dinner."

The "errands" my parents had to take care of was picking up Ryan from the airport.

On that particular night it was -50* with the windchill.

Ryan tells the story like this...
" The stewardess opened the hatch to let everyone out on the tarmac. She was wearing her delta air mileage plan outfit (skirt and cardi) and said,'Oh! Its a little chilly out there!' Little did I know this woman was part Husky.
"Little chilly" meant you wouldn't be able to breathe for 4 seconds and the wind would hit your face so hard that even your eyes tried to find a parka."
With tears frozen to his face, my dad greeted him and said,
"Wow, you don't have to cry, man."

I showed up early to the restaurant and anxiously waited for my parents to show up.

I had a feeling something was going on but kept pushing aside the hope that Ryan would be with them.

When they did arrive, without Ryan in tow, I sank a little.

They had left him in the car, -50* outside, without leaving the keys, and told him to 'wait a few minutes'.

After he lost the feeling in his legs and again in his face, he decided that a few minutes was just too long.
He came around the corner and our eyes met.
(insert hallelujah chorus here)
Even though I had hoped he would be there, I was still utterly shocked.

To the point where he awkwardly stood there as I just sat, stunned. He eventually said, "can I have a hug?"

We all ordered prime rib dinners and because of nerves, I didn't eat a bite.

Which was ok because apparently Ryan was a nervous eater and ate both of our dinners.

He proceeded to tell me that he had been in a long process of gaining the approval of everyone important in our lives. He was convinced that I was 'his one' and wanted to begin a relationship.
He gave me a beautiful diamond necklace, that I still where almost daily.

(the same one I am wearing in every one of this pictures taken during our courtship)

Of course I said yes but couldn't really muster another word for almost 24 hours.

The poor guy handled it really well.

He stayed with my family for a week until we both flew out to Washington for a couple days to visit his friends and family.

A very influental man in Ryan's life told him to pretend that he had refused to give his blessing and to write an appeal, convincing him why I was the one.

He wrote it as a letter to me, telling me every detail that convinced him that I was to be his.

He gave that me on our first Valentines day, the best one to date.

For the next 3 months we spent every spare moment on the phone getting to know eachother all over again.

We asked eachother lots of hard questions. A huge advantage for us was we had been raised very simliar and our families had a lot of the same foundational values.

I came out to visit once in March and he came to North Dakota in April.

We knew almost immediately that it was the Lord for us to be married.

I planned a trip to visit him in May and I had really hoped that he would propose.

The exact same kind of hope that I had that he was coming to ask to court me.

I had no idea what would actually be happening on that trip...

back to my roots.

2012-02-07T00:00:00.000-08:00

There is a whole side of me which most of you don't know about.

There would be no reason for you to know because it's who I was and what I did before I moved to Washington and it hasn't been a part of me since.

Yes, you know that I was raised on a dairy farm, but there is much more to it than that.

It was my life.

I was a part of the herd health along side my dad.

We made sure that the cows stayed healthy and would treat them if they weren't.

I also was in charge of the reproduction of the cows.

My job was to artificially inseminate the cows.

I know what you are thinking,

"this girl is SO hardcore!"

But seriously,

I absolutely loved my job and when I wasn't working on the farm I still had a job related to agriculture.

The only thing that kept me for being a large animal vet was my vision for having a family.

When Ryan came into my life it wasn't that hard for me to give it all up to move near Seattle.

I had been a little burnt out and I looked forward to not working so hard.

What I didn't realize is that it had been all that I had ever known and that I would struggle with my identity a little once I had left the country.

I felt like a small (but large) part of me died in a way.

I was really good at what I did and I would never be able to use those skills again.

I struggled with why I had spent years cultivating those talents if they were to stay dormant and never used again.

It was a huge part of my life that nobody really knew about and still doesn't to a degree.

I spent the first year of our marriage trying to figure out how

I fit into life here and what I was good at.

I remember telling Ryan that I wanted our kids to be involved in 4-H or SOMEthing so that they wouldn't be weird city kids that I would be embarrassed to take back home.

I have given myself 100% and in turn, really grown to love this place.

It is different, for sure, but I don't feel like such a fish out of water anymore.

It took being away from the only thing I had ever known to really discover and come into my own.

This place has given me confidence and rid me of so many insecurities.

And for that, I will be forever grateful.

I am excited to move back to the country, because quite honestly, it is what I was made for.

But I will ALWAYS have a special place in my heart for the city.

I am thrilled that my kids will get to experience a simple, fulfilling way of life.

I now see that those talents that I gave myself to will not stay dormant, but used in helping my husband run our own business.

Ha, who would have thought?

I love how the Lord cares about those kinds of details of my heart.

I am grateful that I had the opportunity to experience an entirely different way of life and for the balance it will always bring to me.

I will always have two homes.

keepsakes.

2012-02-05T19:00:00.000-08:00

The definition of keepsake:

something given or kept as a token of love.

I have wanted to have one special keepsake for my kids to keep and play with.

Something that we could get for each one.

When I went into a store back in September I saw these BlaBla animals and fell in love.

I may have 25 kids just so we can have the whole collection.

When Ryan's mom asked what she could get the girls for Christmas, this was at the top of the list.

Ashlynn got Suzette the Fox.

She calls it "My Fox" which with her sweet lisp sounds more like

"My Fock".

Yea.

So we have try to change it to 'foxy' but it just doesn't stick.

I should have given her the cow.

Claire the Cow is who we gave to Selah.

I think it suits her just fine.

I love these dolls.

I look forward to the sweet memories my kids will have with them.

Do you have keepsakes for your kids?

instafriday

2012-02-02T17:24:00.000-08:00

Um, can you say sweetest face?

This was her dedication day and I literally woke her up and put her in her carseat

and she had this face.

Then I said,

"are you ready to be dedicated to the Lord (said in Nacho Libre accent) today?!"

and this was her response.

stop it, already.

This is Ashlynn with her sweet little friend, Eden.

They are a month apart and SO similar.

They keep each other fabulous.

Speaking of fabulous....

Ryan somehow failed to tell me that he found this record player that was abandoned at a house he worked on forever ago.

I am going to gut it out and refinish it once we move and put it in my living room.

SO excited!!!!

Everyday we try to pack a few boxes.

Yuck.

This particular day we packed up all of my craft supplies and kept looking up to see Ryan shaking his head.

When I told him to label the box THIS was his interpretation.

Whatever.

We had date with Eden and her mommy at the mall visiting the Disney and American Girl store.

Beanies not mandatory but highly acceptable.

These girls cracked us up wheeling the suitcases around the store.

And in true Ashlynn style, if one is good, two is WAY better.

love story: part one

2012-02-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

I have wanted to share this for a while now and when could be better than February?

Yep, our love story.

I grew up in Eastern Washington.

When I was 4 years old my family started attending an

Assembly of God church that had strong ties with a church in

Western Washington (CCK).

Our parents met at an annual family camp that both of our churches attended and became fast friends.

For the next 11 years the Johnson's and Stevie's grew really close.

Ryan and I enjoyed hanging out together but our first born tendencies sometimes got in the way of always getting along.

In 2003 our family moved to North Dakota

and it was 5 years until we saw the Stevie family again.

In 2007 my sister, Kortney came and lived with their family as she did the Master's Commission program at CCK.

Little did I know, when my parents brought her out here,

my dad had his eye on Ryan and the two of them talked about me quite a bit.

In September the Lord put me on Ryan's heart as a wife possibility.

I came to visit my sister for a week over Thanksgiving and had no idea what would transpire.

At that time I liked someone else, though it hadn't turned into anything.

The day before I came to visit my dad said,

"Kaylee, I want you to have an open hand, just be open to ANYthing the Lord may have for you."

So I did.

3 days into my stay I was talking to my sister about the guy that I liked and Ryan overheard and came into the room and proceeded to tell me how it wasn't God, that I needed to raise my standards, etc.

Jerk!

What I didn't know is that he was so sure that I would be his wife and it was KILLING him to hear me talk about someone else.

I really heard what he was saying and knew he was right.

That evening I called 'the other guy' and told him that I knew it wouldn't turn into anything, that I needed to really give my heart back to my dad and the Lord.

At that point I had no feelings for Ryan.

I didn't get to spend a lot of time with him but it was enough to see that he was a man full of character, very driven, and had an incredible work ethic.

(The same things my dad had noticed).

We flirted quite a bit by the last two days of my trip until he dropped me off at the airport.

I said a quick goodbye and walked away.

I was determined to get home and figure a lot of things out.

What happened on Ryan's end was a little different.

He immediately called his dad and said,

"she didn't even turn around...."

He was determined to do whatever it took to win my heart.

I knew there was a pretty good chance that I could fall for him so on the flight home I wrote out my 'list'.

My list of the things I needed in a husband.

I had to do so quickly, because I knew I wanted to write it without someone specific in mind.

Over the next 2 1/2 months we texted everyday (except for one. He later told me it was a terrible day for him.)

I got to know him all over again and that is when he not slowly, but rapidly won my affections.

He secretly was in contact with my parents the whole time,

answering questions and proving to them why he should be the one to care for my heart.

He must have done a pretty good job because by the end of January, he got their permission to begin a process of courtship with me.

The one big speed bump was that my mom was 9 months pregnant and they wanted him to wait until she delivered my sister to come and ask me.

Because it was her 11th child, they scheduled an induction for February 4th and gave him the ok to fly out on February 9th.

One of the neatest things to me is while he was pretty darn sure because of the conversations we had been having, Ryan specifically asked my dad,

"Before I come out there and ask her, I need to know for sure, does she have feelings for me?"

All my dad said is,

"You need to trust me."

So he did.

And on February 9th he boarded a plane in Seattle,

not really knowing what was waiting for him a few states away....

Stay tuned for Part Two.

WIWW Dedication Sunday

2012-01-31T21:11:00.000-08:00

We dedicated our sweet Selah Mcrae this last Sunday.

It was a pretty special time.

Did I ever tell you what her name means?

Selah: pause, and reflect

Mcrae: daughter of grace

She is all that.

It was one of the only days that we got dressed up enough to justify taking pictures.
These little girls are SO much fun to style!

Ashlynn:

Dress-Old Navy

Vest-Target

Boots-Nordstrom

It was a SUPER windy day and this next picture cracks me up.

Selah:

Jacket-Old Navy

Pants-Target

Boots-Gap

Kaylee:
Shirt-Nordstrom
Scarf-Nordstrom B.P.

the breakfast of this champion

2012-01-31T00:00:00.000-08:00

Ha! Yes, I'm laughing at myself as I get the picture of me on a Wheaties box.
This is my new go-to breakfast.

As in, almost everyday.

Nothing special.

Just a two egg-white omelet with salt and pepper,

half an avocado,

a roma tomato,

a slice of Dave's Killer toast,

and the best part, Siracha sauce.

Every morning I have this I feel like it's the first time.

So simple, yet so right.
They're GRRREEAAAATTTT!!!!!

Wait, that's Frosted Flakes, not Wheaties.
Never mind.

it fixes things.

2012-01-26T00:00:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the best remedy to a rough day is some silly pictures.
Ashlynn and I have been butting heads a little lately,
mostly because she has been bored and she gets super argumentative when that happens.
So I finally just said,
"Ok, come here and lets take some funny pictures."
(which she loves)
We ended up laughing with each other and basically starting our day all over.
Sometimes, that just works.

um, when did that happen?

2012-01-24T15:59:00.000-08:00

Selah, or "Selah 'Crae" as her big sister calls her,

is 2 months old today.

It is freaking me out how fast that went by.

I have realized that after having another kid that you know SO well, it really takes time to get to know the second one.

It's such a new relationship compared to the established one with her older sister.

It feels like so much more of a discovery process.

But here is what I know of her so far,

She is tender and meek.

Not lacking an ounce of personality,

but it is so subtle.

She doesn't need to make herself known,

but loves any attention given to her.

It's like she is saying,

"I'm here if you want to play but I'm so content to just sit and take in all of the beauty around me."

I know she is still a baby but there is an added sense of purity and innocence about her.

She ADORES her older sister and never withholds her smiles from her.

That may be my favorite thing yet about her.

Selah,

you don't even know what you add to this family.

Your presence was so needed here and we love every day that we get to know who you are.

our week.

2012-01-22T22:48:00.000-08:00

Hello, lovelies.

Did you enjoy your weekend that went by entirely too quickly?

We did!

Here is a glimpse into our life this past week.

We attended a hockey game for Uncle Shane's birthday.

It was a first for Ryan and the girls and they all loved it.

Ashlynn endearingly called it a 'hoppy' game.

With the major snow we had (which has just turned to rain and slush) we lost power a few times.

But don't worry, my priorities were completely in line....

take a shower by candlelight before all of the hot water is gone.

She is such a petite little peanut!

Gosh, I need her in my life.

Ashlynn sleeping with her auntie, holding her baby cousin.

Sweetest thing. Ever.

"Snow is my favorite!"

"Oh wow, dis snow is tasty!"

Gettin' cozy by the fire.

Red curry soup.

To die for.

Seriously, Ryan ate it for 3 meals in a row because he like it so much.

After not being able to leave the house I got super stir crazy and decided to whip up some cinnamon rolls.

Holy Jesus.

Making them more often.

Every time I leave Selah in her swing I find her with a new 'friend' thanks to her big sister.

She is already such a good sport.

>>>----> <----<<<

Things are starting to get a little crazy around here.

We bought boxes this weekend and are going to start packing.

It's these little day to day beauties that are keeping me sane.

Thanks for letting me share them with you!

snow. and ice cream.

2012-01-19T21:44:00.000-08:00

I'm sure you have heard about all of the snow we have had this week.

It is crazy.

Non. Stop.

We haven't be able to do much besides just hang out around the house because the roads are awful but it's been kind of nice.

(Besides the power going off and on again)

My favorite thing is every morning Ashlynn wakes up and runs to the window and screams,

"IT'S SNOWING AGAIN!"

Yes, honey the 18" of snow haven't gone anywhere.

We are having our fair share of snow ice cream too.
If you happen to have snow you should try it.
Snow Ice Cream
8 cups of snow
1 cup sugar
1 cup milk
1 Tbs vanilla.
Mix it all together. Voila.

Have a beautiful weekend.
Go make a snowman and cuddle by the fire.
That's what we will be doing.

fan-flippin'tastic frittata.

2012-01-18T00:00:00.000-08:00

Doesn't that look amazing?

It's what my hunk of a husband made us for breakfast one day last week.

No joke, he woke up and said,

"I want to make a frittata for breakfast, can I make you one."

Um, yeah?!?

I actually have never had one before but you can bet that I will be again, and again....

and again.

It was that good.

I don't have a official recipe for you,

because he just made it up but this is what he did.

He cooked up 1/2lb sausage and 1/2 an onion first.

Then added sliced jalapenos and bell peppers until those were tender.

Then a handful of spinach and cooked it for about a minute until wilted.

At that pointed he whisked 6 eggs and poured it over all of the veggies and sausage.

Let it cook until the eggs start to pull away from the sides of the pan.

Throw the pan in the oven at 350* for 10 minutes or until the eggs aren't runny anymore.

He topped it with cheddar and parmesan cheese and broiled it.

Once it was finished he put tomatoes and chives on top.

Now, go make this, have your husband make it,

or get yourself a husband to make it.

It's just the right thing to do.

worth it all.

2012-01-17T00:00:00.000-08:00

I've said it before and I will say it again,

Parenting is hard, hard work.

Nothing has come close to being as challenging and rewarding at the same time.

It drives me to tears and my knees before the Lord before anything else.

But I know the fruit is worth it.

Ashlynn has the sweetest heart, and so all we have to do is cultivate and draw that out of her.

By not letting her run the show I know that we are helping her shape what kind of person she will be.

I know that,

but that doesn't mean I don't loose sight of that or

get discouraged when she is having an off day.

Do you ever get tired?

Sometimes I get worn out and feel like all I have done all day is correct her.

But when she comes to me at night and voluntarily gives me a hug, a kiss and says, "Mommy, I wuv you SO super much."

it is all the fuel I need for my tired spirit.

As a stay at home mom, I think it is so easy to get familiar with my kids because I'm with them all of the time.

It takes me being around other people with them to see the fruit of our training.

I'm just being honest.

All of that to say, I get it.

You aren't alone in your frustration or discouragement.

BUT,

don't. give. up.

While we are having to be more on our game now,

the result is greater too.

I've always known that it's worth it but now I'm feeling it.

"Train up a child in the way he should go;

even when he is old he will not depart from it."

- Proverbs 22:6

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."

-Deuteronomy 6:7

Training our kids has to be a lifestyle in order to be effective.

It doesn't have to be negative, but reminding them who they really are and drawing it out of them.

It is not for the faint of heart.

But neither is any other part of life.

nobody said it would be easy.

2012-01-16T00:00:00.000-08:00

Our big move is quickly approaching whether I like it or not.

Which I do both.

To say that it has been a roller coaster ride would be a huge understatement.

There are moments that I feel like I could just jump in the car and take off and other moments that the thought of leaving rips my heart to pieces.

Today is one month until we leave and those emotions are on an all time high.

I am jittery and not really sure how to handle it.

There were days were my 'meltdowns' made us question if we should even go.

But we know it is the Lord.

And when He tells you to do something, there is a promise.

Because of that, I am determined to hold it together and have pleaded for grace.

And He never fails me.

Not just grace to get through it,

but to balance BOTH emotions of excitement and pain.

Pain of leaving friendships and a community that is irreplaceable.

Excitement to live near my family again and to walk in our families calling.

Hanging on that promise of the favor He has for us.

The next four weeks are going to be hard.

Really hard.

But what I am so grateful for is that it's not easy.

That the depth of relationship we have with people here are deep enough to make it painful.

How sad would it be if a simple,

"See ya!" was no big deal.

But it's a really big deal.

And that's what hurts.

instafriday.

2012-01-12T20:09:00.000-08:00

We have had a fantastic week.

Ryan came home TWO WEEKS EARLY!!!!

For a few reason that I'm sure I will explain later,

but regardless, he's home and we are happy.

While he was gone I was constantly texting him pictures of the girls.

That face is to sweet not to share.

Ashlynn is a major fan of salad.

Like to where she would eat that over anything else.

Have you ever had these from Trader Joe's?

You just add yogurt or applesauce.

So good.

I heard Ashlynn in the kitchen after I pulled them out of the oven and asked,

"Whatcha doing Ash?"

"I'M EATING MY CHOCOLATE PIE, MOMMY!"

She sure did, the entire top layer was gone.

Oh well.

This girl has been all smiles lately.

I am following more and more in love.

We made a big trip to IKEA and she went CRAZY when she saw the mini carts.

She kept grabbing things saying,

"Oh, I need this, too."

It was a party.

We made a haul.

Love me some IKEA.

Have a beautiful weekend and make sure you kiss your babies.

6 week bran muffins.

2012-01-11T19:38:00.000-08:00

This is a gem you all need to have.

Yes, I am sharing it with you today...

I always have some of this batter in my fridge and can

throw it it the oven whenever I get a hankerin' for a bran muffin.

SUPER easy.

6 Week Bran Muffins

1 15oz box of raisin bran cereal

1 quart of buttermilk

4 beaten eggs

1 cup oil

2 1/2 cup sugar

5 cup flour

5 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. salt

Mix all together in a large bowl.

Store covered in the fridge for up to 6 weeks.

Scoop into greased muffin tin and bake at 350* for 20-25min.

That's it.

For real.

You heard it from the boss herself,

they are super 'licious.

what we wore.

2012-01-08T16:15:00.000-08:00

Aren't those curls fantastic?!

She has finally grown into them.

Gone are the days of Joe Dirt mullet.

We have really been sportin' the workout pants (me) and half naked (Ashlynn) around here so I thought I would show you these pictures from last month instead of our wardrobe of late.

This was my favorite outfit of hers all winter.

We went to a Santa breakfast before Christmas and we opted for this

look instead of a holiday dress this year.

When I said, "Work it, baby!"

this was her interpretation.

Hands on her legs, shakin' her little booty.

Ashlynn:

shirt and vest-Target

pants and shoes-Nordstrom

Kaylee:

shirt-Kohls

pants-Nordstrom

I just saw a little girl streak across the living room...
and this would be a good time to say see you tomorrow.

love me a bored husband!

2012-01-08T16:00:00.000-08:00

One major blessing we had right after Selah was born was that Ryan didn't have any new jobs lined up.

He got to spend a lot of time with his girls and he loved it.

But after being used to working long, hard days, he got a little bored.

The next thing I know, I find him on my pinterest, checking out some of the stuff that I had liked.

All three of these projects came out of that in one afternoon.

Our ceilings are too short now, but once we are in a normal house,

this ruler will go up against a wall.

It's to keep track of our kids heights all through their childhood.

And we can take it with us anywhere.

It's really a piece of art.

The next thing is these shelves made out of pallets.

I'm sure you have seen them all over.

I loved that he stained them.

I still need to find just the perfect things to put on them.

Then he made this sign.

It love it because it is such a statement of faith, really.

We aren't letting doubt, discouragement, tragedy, or heart ache take over in our life.

Thanks, Honey!
I can't wait for my kitchen table....
You can be bored ANY day, that's just fine with me.
:)

instafriday.

2012-01-05T20:00:00.000-08:00

I am thrilled to participate in my very first InstaFriday

with Life Rearranged.

I got my iphone for as a 'push present' from Ry and I am reeallllyyy loving it.

My little 'butternut' and I on a date to Costco.

No idea why I call her that, it just comes out.

My fashion forward daughter squeezing the guts out of her baby sister on Christmas morning.

"Hello! It's Christmas morning and I'm a month old today!"

Love my silly girl

My darling preggo sister in her Christmas present.

I drove up to the dealership where Ry was getting his oil changed and as I was waiting couldn't help but think,

"Damn. I love those long legs and little butt."

(yes, those are cowboy boots that he wears every day. and yes, I know i'm lucky girl.)

Then laughed my head off when I saw the little man in the background, hanging from the hood.

made. my. day.

I let Ashlynn finish off my FREE mocha frapp from Panera

(seriously people, get a Panera rewards card.)

When she was finished she goes,

"Mom. Dis SO super 'licious!!!! SO much."

This was just minutes before we had a debate on what her sister's name was.

"It's Selah, honey."

"No, Mom. Dats my little baby Jesus."

"Babe, her name is Selah."

"Nope. Baby Jesus."

Huh?!?!

My BFF and I exchanged Christmas presents this week and besides a gorgeous scarf from Anthro (happy day),
she made us this beautiful bottle of homemade vanilla.
I love gifts like this.
You rock, Kates.

How's that for my first InstFriday?
Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!

for a 'little minute'.

2012-01-04T18:05:00.000-08:00

Yes, she missed the memo that we were supposed to be doing fishy lips and totally left me looking like a dork,

thanks, Sash.

I am so grateful for my relationship with this girl.

She hasn't had one bad day with becoming a big sister and having to suddenly share her momma with someone else.

She is kind and attentive.

I learn something new from her everyday.

My favorite thing is how she will patiently wait and ask,

"You all done with my baby sister? You play with me now for a little minute?"

Yes, my dear.

I will play with you for a BIG minute.

Don't ever stop asking, please.

i'm back! and here are some goals.

2011-12-29T22:30:00.000-08:00

Why hello, you!
I am beyond excited to be back from a much needed break!
As I thought, with the turn of a New Year has already come a bit of that craziness that I had anticipated.
Ryan will be leaving in 2 hours to drive to North Dakota for 3 weeks.
I know that to some of you that may not be a big deal but that is FOREVER for me.
He is going back to remodel our new house before we move out there.
And unless there is a miracle, he will be gone almost a month.
Grace, Lord, grace.
Good news is, I get to fill my time with packing, blogging, and LOTS of visiting with friends.
(and of course, parenting two little girls).
But anyway....

Every year I tell myself that I don't have New Years resolutions because it's cliche' and that's just not me.

Truth is, it is exactly me.

I love the idea of a new year.

It's a new beginning and a fresh slate.

So here are some of my goals this year.

1.On the top of 95% of people's list, get in shape.

I've already started a routine so I guess continue to do so.

2 weeks after I had Selah I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight and it was just the encouragement I needed to keep going.

For a number of reasons I can't run but I'm not going to let that stop me. I'm doing this.

2. Write letters.

With us moving away I am going to make it a point to send letters to people, not just keep up on Facebook.

I'm super excited about it and I even found this awesome return address label that I've already ordered with our new address on it.

I love it so much that is will force me to make this one happen.

3.Read the Word more.

The more life happens, the more I realize it doesn't just help me, it is more of a lifeline.

This one is happening every day.

4.Start schooling Ashlynn.

I don't know if I have ever said this on here,

but we will be homeschooling our kids.

Once we get moved and settled I am going to start a routine

of structured school time with Ashlynn to get her used to it.

Both of us actually.

5.Do more 'homemade'.

As in, "if you are going to pin it, do it." Ha!

I end up loving it once I actually make something,

its just the getting there that takes a little work.

I especially want to make more gifts this year.

Which means planning ahead....oh gosh this is going to be a lot of work.

6. Along with that, use my sewing machine more.

I have a great one, I just need to use it!

7. Watch less TV.

I'm not going to lie, it has become a fantastic babysitter for Ashlynn when I need to keep her in one place while I do something that requires any sort of my attention.

It is the reason I can have a shower during the day.

I'm still going to cut back her TV time though.

And ours.

We thoroughly enjoy watching a show or two together in the evening but it is so unnecessary and we are going to use that time more wisely.

8. Learn something new.

A sweet friend of mine, (yes, you Erin!) was telling me that she is going to learn French this year because she never wants to stop learning.

I absolutely loved that and it totally inspired me.

While I still don't know what that 'something' is,

I'm determined to find it.

(suggestions?)

I know there are more things hidden in my brain that I'm not thinking of but that is my list for now.

Going into this new year I am so grateful.

Grateful for a fantastic 2011 and grateful that 2012 is going to be even better.

I'm looking forward to sharing it all with you and bringing increase to the relationships I have made through this space.

Thanks for being a part of it with me!

see ya later.

2011-12-20T12:05:00.000-08:00

My thought for today was to give you a rundown of what we have been doing lately since, as you can see, I have been so diligent about posting regularly.

However, when I started to write it out I realized how pathetic it looked. Because other than the occasional trip to the grocery store, a trip to Snowflake Lane, and going to church last Sunday, we have done a whole bunch of nothing.

It has been wonderful.

(Snowflake Lane-2011)

When Ryan has been home we have simply slept in, made meals together, watched movies, snuggled by the fire, etc.

I have loved spending so much quality time with the four of us.

It feels kind of like the calm before the storm. Not storm in a bad way, but before our lives turn into a busy whirlwind.

You would think it would be the perfect time to blog and I would normally be jumping on the opportunity to catch up and get ahead but every time I open up a new post I feel this weird heaviness and close my computer. Even though I have had an abundance of time with my man and my girls, I just want more. I feel like the Lord is blessing me with this time and that I need to truly cherish it.

As soon as the new year hits we are going to be running and I know I will crave this time again.

So while I should have done this two weeks ago instead of letting my poor space sit stagnant, I'm signing off until January. I will have some great things to share and show you, I promise.

Enjoy this time with your families!

Much, MUCH love to you from ours!

embrace the camera:december 8th

2011-12-08T04:00:00.000-08:00

This weeks embrace the camera may be my favorite to date.

Not because the pictures are outstanding by any means, but because they are so special to me.

I couldn't wait for Ashlynn to see her new baby sister and here are a couple shots for when she first 'held' her.

I wish that I could describe the voice that she talks to her in.

It is this soft, sweet tone, barely above a whisper.

"Hi, my baby Selah. Hi, my sister. Hi, honey!"

Be. Still. My. Heart.

After all was calm and all the visitors had left that first night,

Ryan sat with her and just stared...

Like I said, the pictures themselves are far from quality, but they still pull at me.

They are moments I will never forget.

those eyes.

2011-12-06T21:30:00.000-08:00

It will never cease to amaze me how much power there is in such little eyes like these.

They have the ability to make me confident and scared.

They make me grow up.

They make me cry.

They make me press through.

They tell me it's all going to be just fine.

They make me humble.

They make me proud.

They make me happy.

They give me hope.

I love those eyes,

they look right through me.

They are giving me strength.

They are making me want to be better.

Because of you, little one, I will be.

gingerbread man.

2011-12-05T14:08:00.000-08:00

We have had a fantastic 'maternity leave'.

The adjustment from one to two kids has been beautiful.

Seriously.

Ashlynn was made to be a big sister.

Ryan has somehow found a way to hold everything together and still give me confidence to do the same while he is gone.

Today is our first day with him at work and it couldn't have gone better.

Phew!

>>>---> <---<<<

Some very dear friends of ours brought us dinner last week and a giant gingerbread cookie for Ashlynn to decorate.

(Thanks so much, Kelsey and Ava!)

She and Daddy had SO much putting 'sparkles' on her 'boyfriend' as she called it.

"Here. I hold it for you."

That look on her face just kills me.

All done! I think he is pretty handsome if I do say so myself.

Oh yes, the cookie is cute too...

hardy har har!

(yes, somebody please get me out of the house.)

She had to take a bite out of his head, each hand, and each foot and then she was done.

Super tasty!

So this is how we are spending our days these days. Couldn't be better.

What are you doing to be festive?

our beauty, selah mcrae.

2011-11-27T19:02:00.000-08:00

Well, my friends,

she.is.here.

Selah Mcrae was born on Friday, November 25th at 8:15pm.

She weighed 7lbs and 11oz and was 19.75in long.

We went into the hospital on Friday morning to be induced and while I was already dilated to 4cm, she didn't want to come out for sometime.

When I think about Ryan and the way that he supported, encouraged, and held me, it makes me want to cry.

I literally could not have done it without him.

I started pushing at 7:30 and by 8:15 she was born.

She is completely perfect.

Not a single scratch or blemish on her sweet face.

She is simply a dream.

It's taking me a lot longer to recover than I thought it would but I am more than being taken care of by Ryan and Ashlynn.

No seriously, the laundry is done and put away and the house is spotless.

Ashlynn will wait by the side of the bathtub just ready to give me my towel and hand me my clothes.

I'm living a dream...the best part is, I don't have to wake up.

I'm blank because.

2011-11-22T05:39:00.000-08:00

I'm totally going to copy the sweet Little Miss Momma here.

I'm weird because:

-I put homemade ranch on my spaghetti.

-I have zero peripheral vision.

-I'd rather go to a coffee stand than Starbucks any day.

-I keep feeling the need to justify why I put up my Christmas decorations early to every blogger that is dead set against it.

(Because I know I won't want to take the time to do it AFTER I have a baby and it's important for me to have them for enough time.

There. I feel better now)

I'm a bad friend because:

-I'm not very good at responding to phone calls or emails.

-I'm terrible at committing to play dates/outings

-I'm always think of calling to catch up but never do.

-I have fantastic intentions of giving gifts/sending cards for birthdays and never do.

I'm a good friend because:

-I'm super loyal.

-I care about what you are going through.

-I actually do pray for you when I say I will.

-I truly value my friendships and don't take them for granted.

I'm sad because:

-My brother Skyler can't come visit with the rest of my family.

-The reality of moving away from some very dear people is getting more inevitable.

-I didn't fully accomplish my massive "To do" list before having the baby.

I'm happy because:

-My husband just bought me an iphone 4S(my first iphone!) as a push present.

-My my family is on their way out here this very minute.

-Ryan gets to take a bunch of time off over the next month.

-I will get to button my pants again.

I'm excited for:

-Thanksgiving dinner.

-Watching the parade with Ashlynn.

-Meeting my new daughter face to face.

-Sitting in front of my Christmas tree with my new little family.

lovely leaves.

2011-11-20T21:40:00.000-08:00

I kinda feel like I shouldn't even say a word

and just let these pictures speak for themselves.

Last Sunday afternoon Ashlynn and her cousin Sterling chased each other around the front yard throwing leaves at the other.

I adore these pictures because it so captures them both.

Their giggles were contagious.

I wish I could bottle up that sound and keep it forever.

Thank you, Lord for the fall and for friends to share it with.

blissful moments & what she's gonna wear.

2011-11-18T08:19:00.000-08:00

I am sitting in total bliss at this very moment.

It is just starting to get light outside,

I can hear the rain hitting the roof,

I'm staring at our decorated Christmas tree,

and Ashlynn is asleep with her head on my belly.

Oh, and there is a pumpkin streusel muffin next to my coffee too.

(no perfect moment can be complete without good food)

I don't want this moment to end.

It is the beginning to our last weekend as a family of 3.

(Wow, I just started crying. Hormones at an all time peak.)

Ryan is taking me today to get a pedicure and go out for lunch.

(I'm thinking Pho).

Do you ever have those moments where you think,

"My God, what did I do to deserve all of this?"

That's the only way I can describe this feeling.

I feel so completely in the Lord's favor and so oblivious as to why.

It's a good place to be in.

>>---> <---<<

I finished packing up my bag for the hospital and couldn't help but show you a couple things that I threw in there for Selah girl.

This gown is a super soft, thick cotton gown that is nothing but cozy.

The hat, I just sewed on a rosette that I had from Pink Lemonade.

I'm crazy for this combo.

Then I have just a basic white Baby Gap gown with a white hat that has the brooch that I had from Marigold Road.

These things just make it so personal for me and I love it!

>>---> <---<<

Here's to a lovely, cozy weekend to you all!

guest posting.

2011-11-16T06:04:00.000-08:00

Guess what.

I was asked to do my first guest post...

and at one of my FAVORITE blogs too!

(that's Katy on the left)

Katy from Scottyboy & Katygirl is hosting a really neat series to give people ideas for the holidays.

You can check out my post and other featured by incredible women. Thanks,Katy, for asking me to be a part of this!
Oh, and while you are there, you should also check out her shop, Georgia Jane Designs,if you need to buy your Christmas cards.Talk about talent :).

grateful.

2011-11-15T07:30:00.000-08:00

I have really loved reading so many daily posts/status' about things people are thankful for.

While I know it is inspired by the upcoming holiday, I still find it refreshing.

I truly believe that gratefulness can get you through anything.

With that said,

I have been feeling pretty grateful my self.

Here are just a few things.

I am grateful for this blog.

The people I have met through this have become some dear, dear friends and it holds me

accountable more than anything else.

I am grateful for the people around me that are continually surprising me
with how much they care.

I am grateful for the Word.
I have been reading way more than normal and I'm telling you,
it has become my weapon on fighting some battles in my life.
(go figure! :)

I'm grateful for my husband that knows what matters to me and makes it his mission to make them his number one.

I'm grateful that I have all of my Christmas shopping done.
I'm serious. All of it. And I didn't leave the house once.

I'm grateful for Amazon Prime.
FREE 2 day shipping? I have literally saved hundreds this last year.

I am grateful for both of my families.

I am grateful for Ashlynn.
She is truly the delight of my day and lately, she has been my comic relief.

I am grateful that I only have 10 days left of my pregnancy.
I want to see my baby girls face and smell her neck.
(and I don't want to cry whenever I put jeans on)

I am grateful that Home Depot is getting their Christmas trees in today.
I really want to decorate for Christmas before Selah comes.

I am grateful that we have a hot tub at our new house.
(I think of it every night when I wake up with back pain)

I am grateful that my family is coming out to spend Thanksgiving here and be here
for Selah's arrival.

I am grateful that my doctor will respond to my emails with any question I have within 20 minutes.

I am grateful for The Civil Wars Pandora station.
It's the soundtrack to my day. Check it.

I am grateful that I don't have to go anywhere today and that I can spend it with my girl.

And I am grateful that you all continue to read and comment on my little blog.
I like you guys.

2011-11-13T22:02:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to write a quick note to say I'm here, and don't give up on me yet!

I had some issues with my computer and was with out it almost the entire week that Ryan was gone.

NOT convenient!

I only have 11 days left (or less) until our babe comes and I will be playing catch up until then.

Posts may be a little hit and miss for the next while.

Thanks for your constant thoughts and sweet words, please know its what is getting me through right now!

Loves!

hey, it fits! [wiww]

2011-11-09T06:24:00.000-08:00

This is a really big step for me...

Especially with only 16 days left until I deliver.

I despise full body shots but I am getting brave,

so here is my very first

What I Wore Wednesday [WIWW].

I wore this outfit for a breakfast date with my sweet friend, Kati.

A fellow lover of fall wardrobe.

This is my bargain outfit,

I found that dress for $6 at Target!

It made me super excited because it fit and hardly anything in my closet does right now.

Dress: Target
Leggings:Nordstrom Rack
Scarf: Forever 21
Boots: Zappos
Earings:Nordstrom

Head on over to the The Pleated Poppy for other wardrobe inspiration!

lovely milk crates.

2011-11-06T21:00:00.000-08:00

This is a project I have been SO excited to share with you all.

We live near a town that has several antique shops and cute roadside fruit stands.

This summer we discovered one of them had these awesome milk crates from a local dairy farm.

They actually delivered milk to customers houses in these.

The best part?

They were only $10 a piece WITH the milk bottles.

I had been on the lookout for some new bins for Ashlynn's dresser thing and these more than hit the mark.

Ry took a few hours and cut out the metal dividers in each crate.

Ashlynn helped....kinda

And then she left...without her boots.

"Daddy, you look funny!"

So much work....

....but SO worth it!

The bookshelf is from Ikea and each of the girls have 6 bins each.

Their clothes, shoes, and accessories are in here.

These are the original 3 bins I bought with the milk bottles in them.

I will find a use for them someday but until then,

I think they look cute under the old church pew in our entry way.

These crates have brought me SO much joy!!

21 days.

2011-11-04T07:29:00.000-07:00

21 days until Selah is born.

That's only 3 weeks, people.

I sure feel it though.

I have completely entered the,

"I am SO done" phase.

The phase where I feel like I have to keep my legs crossed to keep her in yet I can't take deep breath due to the little body crushing my lungs.

Ashlynn has now transitioned from calling her

"my Selah" or "my sister" to

"BIG Selah!" (heavy emphasis on the big).

Thanks for stating the obvious, sweetheart.

Ryan leaves today for North Dakota and will be gone for 10 days and so that is the time I am giving myself to have everything ready.

You know, bag packed, car seat strapped in, etc.

I'm not going to lie though,

the thoughts of labor have been sneaking in and making me cringe a little.

More so now than with Ashlynn because I know what is coming.

I just keep declaring 2 Timothy 1:7

that the Lord has not given me a spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind.

Damn you, Satan for trying to rob me of the excitement that comes with the anticipation.

You aren't going to take that from me.

On that note...

For those of you who are wondering why in the world is my husband leaving right before I give birth, he is taking our first load of belongings to our new house.

Yep, as of November 1st we are officially home owners again!!!

Ryan (and Shane)are driving out his big work trailer full of tools and his motorcycle as well as taking care of some of the paperwork side of things.

On their way back home they are making a detour North to do a hunting trip with their dad.

I'm thrilled he has this opportunity to do this with them before we move.

I wouldn't dare keep him home.

I would so appreciate it if you could keep us in your prayers while he is gone!

Safety for him and that Selah would stay put until her daddy comes back home.

Hoping you all have a lovely weekend!

arg, matey!

2011-11-03T04:00:00.000-07:00

We had so much fun this Halloween!

Ashlynn is totally into pirates for whatever reason so her costume was an easy decision.

She totally owned it.

What little girl do you know that can pull off a faux goatee and still look that darling?

Love me some pirate kisses!

legacy of faithfulness.

2011-11-01T04:11:00.000-07:00

Today marks the 25 year mark of my parents marriage.

Do you know what a big deal that is?!

For some reason, that has me all kinds of emotional this morning.

I am the lucky one who has been apart of their life for 24 years of that and I have been able to watch them and reap the benefit of their dedication and faithfulness to each other.

I have watched them stick it through and fight hard to keep their union sacred in a culture that continually makes a mockery of marriage.

They have allow everyone around them to be apart of their life and see that though it isn't always pretty, it is a beautiful thing.

It is constant. It is real.

Ryan and I (and every one of my 10 siblings and their future spouses) have an inheritance of faithfulness.

In my book, their could be no higher gift.

The battles that they have fought, we don't have to.

Dad and Mom,

I want to honor you today.

Thank you for taking those vows 25 years ago and for choosing the higher road every since.

I know the price has been high but as someone who is on the receiving end, it hasn't been for nothing.

I love you dearly!

menu: week of november 1st.

2011-10-31T04:00:00.000-07:00

We are home!

There is truly no place like it.

We had a wonderful vacation and I so enjoyed spending time with everyone but I was reminded as we were greeted by red, yellow, and orange trees, crisp FRESH air, and rain, that I was not made for the desert.

I couldn't wait to drink my chai tea and make a menu/grocery list full of fall comfort foods.

Here is my menu for this week:

If you want recipes for any of them, just let me know!
I am so ready to be back in the blogging saddle, I've missed ya'll!

begas, baby!

2011-10-24T06:43:00.000-07:00

Yep, we are in Las Vegas now for our vacation before the little babe.
Ryan and I have had a wonderful time so far and today my parents, Shane, Kortney, and Ashlynn fly in.
Happy birthday to me!
(No seriously, today is my golden birthday.)

Isn't it funny how you CRAVE time by yourself with your husband and then after two days you can be filled up enough to both be dying to see your kid?
We can't wait.
Ryan told her about a week ago that we were coming down to "Vegas, baby!"
and so now she has been saying,
"BEGAS, baBY!"

So I may or may not be posting this week, I'm thinking I will just enjoy this time away with my favorite people.

"because that's just what we do."

2011-10-17T04:00:00.000-07:00

Dear future wife of a hunter,

Consider this my gift to you...

If you think you know what hunting season means to your husband, you probably don't.

If he is anything like mine,

it is more than just a 'hobby'.

It means that as soon as the air turns crisp and the leaves start falling,

he won't stop smiling.

He begins writing lists and planning which 'routes' he is going to take up the mountain.

And don't you dare try to make healthy, nourishing food for him to take in his pack.

Heck no.

This is what was on my shopping list today:

Coke,

apples,

Snickers,

Peanut butter and jam

bread,

pretzels,

and Cheetos puffs.

Last year when I went shopping with him and I grabbed what I thought he should eat, he said,

"no, no, no..." while shaking his head.

"THIS is what we do."

As he proceeded to grab crap food.

"This is what we do every year and you don't mess with a good thing."

Now mind you, on a normal day he will have a protein shake, a balanced sandwich, lots of veggies and multigrain chips.

But for these couple days,

out comes the PB&J.

My theory? Is because it "fuels the fun!"

When you ask him why he packs a certain way, eats certain foods,

dresses a certain way,

etc.

the answer will always be the same,

"honey, because that's just what we do."

And it is your job to support him,

and love him him.

Don't you ever roll your eyes...

(I did once, it just isn't nice.

and it will lead to an even longer explanation

of WHY they do it that way.)

Instead, try a sweet smile that says,

"Babe, I don't get it but I love that goofy grin that crosses your face whenever you talk about it."

Dear sweet, ignorant soon to be wife of a hunter,

don't try to change anything.

Embrace it, support it and do whatever you can to to encourage it.

Even when you would rather jab a jalapeno in your eye than watch another hunting show.

Learn the terms so that when Lee Lakosky shoots

a massive buck you can say,

"Look at those brow tines!"

He will become a puddle.

(I won MAJOR brownie points with that one)

Like it or not,

it is not just a hobby, it is a passion.

A way of life.

It's just what they do....

our big news.

2011-10-14T04:00:00.000-07:00

No, we are not having twins and we aren't having a boy (that we know of).

Although I have had that thought a couple times....

We are moving!

Some of you may know or have guessed it by now but yes, we are moving to North Dakota.

In March to be exact.

We have considered it since we've been married but seriously pursued it in prayer since last November.

My family owns and operates a dairy farm out there as well as a small herd of Angus beef cows that my dad and I own together.

(That was my 18th birthday present, how cool is that?)

While Ryan has been running his successful construction company since he graduated high school, he has always had a hearts desire to own a cattle ranch.

Construction has been more of a means to start his real calling.

We feel like the time is now.

We considered Montana for a while but we have a strong belief in generational transfer and being able to learn from someone who has gone before us.

My parents.

We are viewing this as an internship where Ryan will work with my dad and glean from his 30 years of experience, while starting our own beef herd at the same time.

We have made a 2 year commitment to stay in North Dakota to see if that is where the Lord has us permanently planted.

We are keeping an open hand.

We feel like this is the right time as our kids are young and we still have so much life ahead of us.

We are excited, scared, and ready.

"Blessed" doesn't even begin to describe how we feel to have this opportunity to work together as a family.

We get to pioneer a road that is new and unknown to build something for our family and generations after us.

I am so glad that we aren't doing this alone and I love that I get to share our adventure with all of you.
PLEASE ask if you have ANY questions!
I feel so relieved to be able to tell you, it's been on my heart and mind for a while.
Are we crazy or what?!

embrace the camera: october 13

2011-10-13T04:09:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about those first moments that we had with Ashlynn.

(which didn't happen until 3 hours after she was born.)

They were still so precious to us.

I remember the overwhelming rush of relief that consumed me after that final push.

I remember the first thing I said was,

"look at that face!"

I remember being scared that she was born with a fever and had to be taken immediately to get an iv.

I remember that Ryan stayed with her as I was rushed into my own unexpected surgery.

I remember laying there for the longest 2 1/2 hours of my life waiting, not knowing what was happening, to get back to see my baby.

I remember feeling completely peace at the same time, knowing that her daddy was with her.

I remember coming back to my room and all I wanted at that moment was for Ryan to hold me and for me to hold my girl, all at the same time.

I remember how extremely perfect every detail was of her little being.

I remember thinking,

"My God, you forget nothing."

I cherish those moments, how uncomfortable they were at times, because they are ours.

I can't wait to have the new ones between us and Selah.

Mmmm....